Saw this on an anime: It's not about what you should do, but what you want to do.
I realised some things today. I realised that my direction in life has never been correct ever since I came into JC. I realised that what I pursue is not relationships but friendships. I realised this blog has been showing all my weaknesses but it's fine. I realised I'm as ordinary as any other human on the streets. I realised that what I have not realised is engulfing my world with darkness. I realised that I'm very blinded to things. I realised that things I posted here are rather offensive and perhaps harmful towards friendships. I realised that it's about high time that I apologize. I realised that having something to do is so meaningful. I realised that what we yearned for freedom is just pushing us toward the cage of less of it. I realised that I should work out more often. I realised that what's beautiful is the memories left behind.
Things are starting to change, my motion will depicts the motions of my life. I will make a change to it. I'm so sorry to those I've harmed, but I don't know who.
Bye~~~
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thursday 27 May 2010
Mid years are finally over! But that's just the beginning of the battle.....
Played pool and arcade with the unwind group yesterday. It's been awhile since we really loosened up, damn shiok!
Sigh~what I foresaw a few months back seems to have come true today. It's so weird. I never think about anyone for quite a few months, then suddenly, when studying for mid years, she just appears in my mind. Few months ago, I had a few dreams about her somemore, these dreams seem to have told me what will happen, and it seems that it did. Who she is is not important, what is important is what has not begun will never begin, things shall be kept the way they are now, perhaps, we will meet again in future, some time, some place.
I saw this in a manga. "Once you are preoccupied, your sword will not be true. See everything in its entirety, effortlessly. That is what is meant by truly 'see'." Perhaps, what I presume above never really happened, all is but an illusion. But I don't know. All that I can do now is to try to truly 'see' things. Somehow, I may be 18 this year but my mind is still as narrow as that of a 3 year old. I think I have to practice looking at things from other points. My personal viewpoints now are what that make me feel so emotional about things.
Listening to Secondhand Serenade just makes me feel so emo.
I don't know who's reading my blog nowadays, do post a tag if you drop by. :)
Rotting away at home now......waiting to catch up with old friends......quite soon I supposed. Bye~~~
"You never know what will happen tomorrow......"
Played pool and arcade with the unwind group yesterday. It's been awhile since we really loosened up, damn shiok!
Sigh~what I foresaw a few months back seems to have come true today. It's so weird. I never think about anyone for quite a few months, then suddenly, when studying for mid years, she just appears in my mind. Few months ago, I had a few dreams about her somemore, these dreams seem to have told me what will happen, and it seems that it did. Who she is is not important, what is important is what has not begun will never begin, things shall be kept the way they are now, perhaps, we will meet again in future, some time, some place.
I saw this in a manga. "Once you are preoccupied, your sword will not be true. See everything in its entirety, effortlessly. That is what is meant by truly 'see'." Perhaps, what I presume above never really happened, all is but an illusion. But I don't know. All that I can do now is to try to truly 'see' things. Somehow, I may be 18 this year but my mind is still as narrow as that of a 3 year old. I think I have to practice looking at things from other points. My personal viewpoints now are what that make me feel so emotional about things.
Listening to Secondhand Serenade just makes me feel so emo.
I don't know who's reading my blog nowadays, do post a tag if you drop by. :)
Rotting away at home now......waiting to catch up with old friends......quite soon I supposed. Bye~~~
"You never know what will happen tomorrow......"
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday 25 May 2010
I feel my life is so crappy. It's revolving about the words "suddenly" and "something".
Everything just seems to happen so suddenly.
Suddenly, I feel so empty.
Suddenly, I feel the great distance.
Suddenly, I don't feel like talking.
Suddenly, I cannot talk.
Suddenly, I feel like I sort of become invisible to others.
Suddenly, I just feel like listening to music and not do anything in a closed room.
Suddenly, I don't seem to be able to walk into others world.
Suddenly, I just feel so emo.
Something seems to be out there, controlling me.
Something tells me before I even did anything, it will never start.
Something tells me I'm walking back that dark path.
Something tells me the world is moving on, leaving me alone in time.
Something tells me I'm more worse off than HL.
Something tells me I did something wrong before, but I don't know what.
Something tells me if I try to make up for it, it's going to get worse.
Something tells me I should use this song to depict my scenario.
Song title: 没那么简单
没那么简单
就能找到聊得来的伴
尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安 只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
没那么简单
就能 去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯
不用担心谁也不用被谁管
感 觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听
自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一 杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机
舒服窝在沙发里
相爱没有那么容易
每 个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪
轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易
才 会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心
所以最开心曾经
没那么简单
就能 去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯
不用担心谁也不用被谁管
感 觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听
自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一 杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机
舒服窝在沙发里
相爱没有那么容易
每 个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪
轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易
才 会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心
所以最开心曾经
想念最伤心
但却最动心的记忆
This song is in my mixpod. You might want to listen to it. Enjoy. :)
Somehow, I feel that this blog is doing me a favour by allowing me to throw my unhappiness here. That's it, exam is somewhat over, leaving 1 physics MCQ paper tomorrow. BYE~~
Everything just seems to happen so suddenly.
Suddenly, I feel so empty.
Suddenly, I feel the great distance.
Suddenly, I don't feel like talking.
Suddenly, I cannot talk.
Suddenly, I feel like I sort of become invisible to others.
Suddenly, I just feel like listening to music and not do anything in a closed room.
Suddenly, I don't seem to be able to walk into others world.
Suddenly, I just feel so emo.
Something seems to be out there, controlling me.
Something tells me before I even did anything, it will never start.
Something tells me I'm walking back that dark path.
Something tells me the world is moving on, leaving me alone in time.
Something tells me I'm more worse off than HL.
Something tells me I did something wrong before, but I don't know what.
Something tells me if I try to make up for it, it's going to get worse.
Something tells me I should use this song to depict my scenario.
Song title: 没那么简单
没那么简单
就能找到聊得来的伴
尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安 只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
没那么简单
就能 去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯
不用担心谁也不用被谁管
感 觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听
自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一 杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机
舒服窝在沙发里
相爱没有那么容易
每 个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪
轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易
才 会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心
所以最开心曾经
没那么简单
就能 去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯
不用担心谁也不用被谁管
感 觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听
自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一 杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机
舒服窝在沙发里
相爱没有那么容易
每 个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪
轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易
才 会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心
所以最开心曾经
想念最伤心
但却最动心的记忆
This song is in my mixpod. You might want to listen to it. Enjoy. :)
Somehow, I feel that this blog is doing me a favour by allowing me to throw my unhappiness here. That's it, exam is somewhat over, leaving 1 physics MCQ paper tomorrow. BYE~~
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Saturday 22 May 2010
Life sucks when it's aimless. Just realised this when there is no mood and energy to study and with my com lagging its way to heaven ever since the infected thumbdrive(thanks to henry's com) was inserted into my com. I realised no matter how tired I am, when I have to do something, I'll make sure it's done, this makes life sucks as the feeling of being overly exhausted is never a good one.
Mid year exams are over soon. I think the highest grade I can get for any of my subjects is a B and of course the lowest, a U. Yesterday could have played pool, but didn't, never mind, wait until the Mid year is over then can go with a light-hearted feeling. Went to Suki Sushi and had the buffet at $22+. Burned a hole in my pocket. Played dota in lag mode, but managed to win because got more people and they are using their best.
Boredom is feeling me. Distance is showing itself. Time is flying past. Temperature is increasing. Our life is making its turn.
Thinking of some things now. Tired too. Bye. :/
Mid year exams are over soon. I think the highest grade I can get for any of my subjects is a B and of course the lowest, a U. Yesterday could have played pool, but didn't, never mind, wait until the Mid year is over then can go with a light-hearted feeling. Went to Suki Sushi and had the buffet at $22+. Burned a hole in my pocket. Played dota in lag mode, but managed to win because got more people and they are using their best.
Boredom is feeling me. Distance is showing itself. Time is flying past. Temperature is increasing. Our life is making its turn.
Thinking of some things now. Tired too. Bye. :/
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wednesday 19 May 2010
FREAK YOU! I'm suffering from brain damage. I hate this mid year exam. The timing is so inappropriate. A lot of things to memorise yet so little time! I really can't wait for Friday! The day of release! These few days really kept my stress level high. Can't sleep well. Got easily over things which I didn't in the past. Body clock screwed. Today's exam screwed. I gave 17 marks to the examiner for free. Tomorrow will be another screwed day. 2 heavy content papers in a day. !@#$%^&* freak them. They fail in planning exam time table. How can they plan 2 heavy content subjects in a day?! They are so trying to kill people la, make sure people fail, then post-mortem come back nag nag nag. Lame sia. Overly-stressed and totally falling asleep.
Time to go. Nights.
Time to go. Nights.
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