Saturday 26 June 2010

If you can return to the past and change something, when will you return to? I actually did something that I regretted until now, and yet my motto in life is to live with no regrets. Greatly regretted.

Today is the 21st Golden Melody Award ceremony and it's the countdown of 2 days b4 school reopens. Darn it, loads of homework left undone and the best thing is I can't find my Econs book=.=. Oh, I think I didn't post this before, I'm extremely disappointed over my Math paper 2 results, a total downfall of my Math results. Freaking disappointed, although I know some people are more worse off than me.

Gahh~~~feeling super guilty for not doing any work over the holidays. BYE~~~

Thursday 17 June 2010

Wheee~~~I'm back from chalet. Only 3 words to describe it: SO DAMN FUN! 1st night was BBQ, the chicken wings were the best as usual, finger-licking food^^. Ms Khiew came down to join us and things were fun when others suan here and there in front of her. After Ms Khiew left, we played circle of death with light beer, 1st round was fine because it's something new, 2nd round was a killer because we played 2 decks and things get more and more boring when we can't think of something to say. 2nd day left early because I have to help out at the Marina Bay's resort's opening ceremony. Freak, wasted 3 hrs there but I heard that I was going to be paid, so ya, didn't really mind it in the end. Reached chalet just nice when they were about to leave for arcade and then night biking. I swear the bike sucks for 14 bucks, having problem to speed=.= After that, 4 tai mahjong. Wah, like finally get to play minimum high tai in chalet. But after a few rounds, all of us become very tired. The next thing we know, we have to book out of the chalet and return the bikes. Bloody hell, they never say when they are opening and we waited for about 3 hrs b4 they came. Played truth while waiting and went to see the pitiful horses at the stables. Went to White Sands to have breakfast and played abit of arcade before leaving. Reached home at about 2pm and omg, this is the smoothest 6 hrs sleep I ever had in the past few weeks. Ahh, good sleep makes life wonderful. BYE~~~

Tuesday 22 June 2010

Dang. Can't sleep. The brain just doesn't want to stop thinking about some past events.

School is going to reopen soon! And I have not even done much homework. Gonna wait till chalet's over before chionging all of them.

Sometimes I wonder what people think of me, especially those that are much much closer. Sometimes, I want to ask them, but somehow or rather, I just can't bring up the subject. Sometimes, I wonder what are my feelings for others. Ah, and I find this blog useful for me to convey such messages at times.

Oh, I just learnt how to drive a boat. XD Something I learnt from driving the boat is that we must be far-sighted. Oh, talking about WWS, this Hua Zhen ah, I feel like killing her.=.= Don't want then just say not coming la, give me one whole paragraph on the recent flooding in Orchard, then main point is the last few words: I'm not coming to WWS. =.= Feel like strangling her after reading it.

I wonder when will I have the courage to ask people in their face.

Bah...since I can't sleep, I shall do a bit of distribution before my eyes close. Bye~~~

~I wonder if you ever had those......................................................~

Tuesday 15 June 2010

Once upon a time, I questioned myself: What is Warcraft for us? What are we trying to find here? This beautiful world...day by day...holds us in its charming illusion. Quests...mates...raiding...items...And what do we have in the end? ...numbers...in database is that it? Is it really the main purpose of what we do? This IS game and like any game...it has purpose to teach and improve a person. Children play games to learn the world, to get knowledge, to know how to communicate, how to look at things around. Maybe we seek this knowledge of something we couldn't find in real life? Like scientists do. They simplify things to see the basis of process clearly. What do we learn in game? How to kill? How to survive? How to press buttons? What is left after we quit the game? They call it...Memories...are everything you have learnt. You will forget all the raids that you did, all the items that you looted, names of places you have been to. But memories will stay and it is not a game, it is real. You feel, you talk, you see, you live. You learn how to feel people and how people feel you. Depending on what you feel, you are becoming different. You change. This is the result of learning. All our memories are made of feeling. Depending on which feelings you put into your memories, depends which person you become. Depending of which priorities you have in game, depends how happy you are in real life. All people are beautiful. Those, who we call "bad" are not actually bad. They simply have no good memories. And it's a pain to be such a person. Help them see the love. Show them frankly all your feelings. Don't be afraid. Give them great memories. And you will see...the radiance of their souls. You will be warmed in the light of their feelings because you will free them. And you will see how the world will change. The real World. You will get the ability to see the very deep of people. And with this ability, there will be no need in games. There will be no need in building beautiful illusions because the real world will always be better. Once upon a time, I questioned myself...What is Warcraft for us?

~adapted from Warcraft Wisdom(Youtube)

A somewhat good paragraph of intriguing words I will say. I think the main point is that know the purpose of things you do(and what others do too) in life. I agree with those words that I put in yellow.

Anyways, it's been awhile since I blogged. These few days, I'm practically tired, partially because of playing WoW late into the night and also because of insomnia. I heard this lady on TV who said this: The definition of being angry is that you are using others' faults to punish yourself. I think that this is pretty agreeable. Was kinda angry over someone's comment recently, but after hearing this, I feel that there's actually no point in being angry some people's faults, even though I'm wrong too. Some people just don't see things the way I see, can't blame them, we have our own perspectives of life. I cannot force others to follow what I do, I just hope that one day, when you look back, it is actually a warning.

Gah~~time for afternoon nap. Bye~~~

Thursday 10 June 2010

I am considering posting some things here. It could do us bad, it could do us good. A very risky option to post it.

Decided to play wow to kill time. Bah, the download is taking so long=.=

LALALA~~~waiting to play X hero siege now, bye~~~

Wednesday 9 June 2010

hahaha......HAHAHAHAHA! so that's how it is huh? What they said is true, hahaha, I'm so amused by my stupidity. That's it I guess, gone with the wind.

Yesterday, my 2 good buddies, LV and SKV talked to me. Managed to understand some stuffs, clear some doubts and have new goals. It's for me to be back to the days when I was calm. Was easily upset over some things that just happened around me. But nonetheless, they are things that passed, no point drooding over them.

Kinda felt sad over the past few ...weeks (I should say), but now I'm happy, com fixed, doubts cleared, what's over is over, gotta move on with a clear mind.

I shall make my changes. BYE~~~

Tuesday 8 June 2010

格格不入. This Chinese phrase basically describe the situation I'm in right now. I don't seem to be able to fit into any group of friends, I realized today. Ah, and my institution tells me more than just SKV, LV and probably Jing Yi the stalker are looking at my blog, someone else or perhaps even a group of them is doing so.

Was thinking whether I should close this blog someday as it appears to be rather redundant, no one comment and not many people are looking at it, which gives me the entire freedom to write anything I want here. The very irony here is others close their blog because there is too many stalkers, but mine is that there is only a handful viewing it. Perhaps when one day I write something like: "This will be the last you see of me.", I might be away, living in my very seclusion somewhere on this Earth, then when my mind is cleared, I'll be back to blog once more. Perhaps. I don't know. I cannot predict what's gonna happen after A level, I don't know what to do after A level. I know things are gonna be so different, yet I'm still that little child I was last year. Perhaps, one day, when I really decide to give up, you'll never see me smiling ever again. I seem to get more and more easily frustrated over the days. Every little thing seems to be able upset me easily. Mood swing huh? You think you know me? You never will, for I have a personality of the clouds, where I cannot be caught and will go my own way. Typical rebellious kid huh?

Got C for chem mid years. Well, not exactly disappointed but not exactly happy over it either. Had a few chapters to focus on over the holidays for chem, math and econs now, so even if this com breaks down, I have something to do, provided I'm disciplined enough :P

This might be just one of my another emo post but it really shows how I am nowadays as compared to previous ones. Really get bored when I can't do anything during this holiday. Bah......bye~~~

Sunday 6 June 2010

Wellness retreat programme was kinda fun, if not for the extreme body weariness and the little sleep I got during the camp=.=

Got an S for GP, well, kinda expected it. I was much more glad that I managed to get a 3 marks for AQ, basically, my aim for mid years for GP paper 2. Got a B for Physics, well, just not so happy about my MCQ score and my carelessness in paper 2. Maths paper 1 got 68, which was like kinda expected.

I kinda find it weird that I'm starting to not look at people in their eyes when they talk, although it was like this last time but it is becoming more and more obvious nowadays.

I was told it was a rumor, but I got this particular feeling that it is a fact.
LV asked me why was I so concerned about such a thing. Ya, I was like what the heck. Partially because I told LV and SKV a few of my little secrets just a few months ago but I don't blame them, after all, it's something which is quite past and it's something that most likely won't happen and something that I will throw away from my mind even if I were them. Partially also because I suddenly just keep thinking back of the things that happened, just feels kinda weird why these things keep running through my mind.

Bah, I guess I should just leave things the way they are, keeping 2 things in mind, study and fitness. A levels is just a blinking few months away. I shall practise what I am already good at and put in more effort into my weaker subjects. I shall make an effort to exercise. I shall send this computer to service soon. I shall score for my exams and become fit. That's my aim this year.

There's still school tomorrow. Need to sleep, bye.

Wednesday 2 June 2010

Got a S for GP. I'm kinda not surprised for I did not put much effort into practising for it.

Mr Bernard Tan's training is somewhat useful but extremely tiring. I'm feeling lethargic even for just the 1st 15 min of Math lecture today, though partially is because the lecturer is boring.

I remembered what I want to say yesterday. I wanted to say this.

My motto in life is to live with no regrets. My own depiction of regrets is doing something that harms others. As such, I will do my utmost best, even to sacrifice myself, to give others happiness. Because my words are somewhat stingy in a way, nowadays, I've become the very quiet person sitting at one side, looking emo at times. I don't wish to spoil any more friendships. I'll just keep my mouth to myself. I will follow my own lead in life, even without BGR, I will move on with just friendships alone. Perhaps, I will be the only bachelor in my class if I were never to mature both physically and mentally in future.

I am bewildered by some events in the past that when recalled, I label them as sweet memories. I don't know if my senses are right, but I know that I have to wait till I mature.

Time is a given thing. Fate is predestined. But the Choice is yours to make.

BYE~~~

Tuesday 1 June 2010

I am but a mere kid lost in its path of life.

Kinda tired after all the Wii and lessons I have been having these days.

Thought of something to post here but just can't remember it now.

So, I shall rest and bye.